I'm 14 weeks this week on Thursday (according to science), and Strong Bad Baby (who has earned that name by making it to the second trimester, first trimester was Strong Bad Fetus) can now sucks its thumb, pee and squint its eyes. I'm 99% convinced it's a boy. I'm leaving a 1% margin for error, so I won't be embarrassed and feel like a horrible mother if I'm wrong. But honestly, he's a boy. ;) It's the size of a lemon, about 3.5 inches long. Pretty amazing that it'll grow six or seven times in length before it finally makes its big debut! By the way, I'll be happy to know what the sex is if not for anything else other than not worrying about getting my "its" and "it's" right. Right now it weighs a whopping 1.5 ounces, and I don't even want to know how many times it'll multiply that weight before it gets here! I haven't felt any movement yet, and my doctor told me not to expect to feel anything for another 3 or 4 weeks. Still, whenever my food is settling I stop what I'm doing to see if it feels any different... it never does.
My hormones are in high gear these days. I'm unbelievably sensitive and emotional, and the smallest thing will make me start crying. I've found that when I start to feel tears coming it, I've developed a stabbing pain in the pit of my stomach that almost borderline nausea. I'm not sure what that's about, but it's certainly uncomfortable and it never happened before the last two weeks. However, the pain is so distinct and sharp that it distracts me from whatever I was going to start crying about, so that's helpful. :)
I'm starting to experience some anxiety this week, as well, and it's slowly turning into irritability. I'm nervous and scared for what's coming, and I don't appreciate the people who make me feel like I should be excited and joyful 100% of the time. This is scary stuff, and there are a LOT of things the imagination comes up with to keep you worried about one thing or another most of the time. Not saying that we aren't happy, so please don't misconstrue this. I'm simply saying that I'm not ALWAYS as excited as you are, so please, don't think I need or want to talk about the joys of pregnancy and motherhood all of the time.
Lastly, Andrew and I are very open to advice, especially from those of you who are parents and are close to us. However, we ARE going to make mistakes, and that's not your business or your problem, it's ours. Our child will be loved dearly and its needs always met, and you won't make it any easier by telling us what we're doing wrong. Please use ENCOURAGING words when talking to us about my pregnancy and our child, and save the horror stories and negative attitudes for someone else.
That is all! Bring it on, Trimester #2!
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Well, whatever "it" is, I know it will be loved and well taken care of. I remember being terrified too, and thinking, "What have I done? I really should have waited." I thought that throughout both my pregnancies until the day I delivered. I might still think that...I'm just sayin'...
ReplyDeleteIt's awfully hard for ANY mom to be to never worry. It's part of being a parent. The life experiences we have just makes it that much more real and intense. You've seen and survived the what-if's. It's not like you can just ignore their existence.
ReplyDeleteWe love you all and will continue to pray for and think about you constantly. One thing I have always loved and appreciated about your mom and dad is the amount of space they gave us to experience each phase of our marriage and parenting journey and make our mistakes etc. Even in our triumphs...well, they were ours because they let us keep ownership...always holding off on all the advice etc until we sought it out. I didn't realize how loving and helpful that was until I started realizing that EVERYONE has an opinion when you're pregnant or a parent. The reality is that no one way to parent or do things is "The Right" way. No product is "The Right" one. You guys will be amazing parents...even in the learning experiences. <3
Love you.
I remember feeling the exact same way! And, I remember the people who thought I needed to know 'how' to do it all...Dude, I was reading the books, I had 'expert' advice...but the point is parenting is hard...from the get-go...I STILL worry, and feel scared, and what-if's hit me hard. I know YOU AND DREW are going to ROCK the parent-scene in just a few months! I agree with the above statement 150% (my parents were just like that...my in-laws...not so much...but anyway)...I'm proud of your blogging skills for layin it all out and hope beyond hope everyone is picking up what you are putting down...I won't tell you to not to worry...cause then I'd be a hyprocrit...but I will say, being Mommy is the hardest thing that will come so easily to you. I love you crazy girl!
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